i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
