I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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