why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
