so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
