so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have surprise drugs for everyone
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
