I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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