rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
