Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize