Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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