I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
