Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
