I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
