ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
