the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
