I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
