Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize