Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
