I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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