I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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