drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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