Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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