Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We need to get me chipped asap
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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