I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
