i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize