two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
