I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
