I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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