Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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