After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
