Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
