I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
