we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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