was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He passed out mid-signature
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
