We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
