Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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