margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
