I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize