This gyro tastes like lonliness
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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