Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
