I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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