When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
