If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
