U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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