margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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