Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
