I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Shame - the story of my life.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
