so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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