you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
