apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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