I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
