Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
