Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
