also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We got so high we made milksteak
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
