You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
