evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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