New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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