physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
