She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
