why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
