I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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